"You must be good at golf" and "You must play all the time" are two sentences regularly thrown my direction, given the job that I'm in, but in reality they couldn't be any further from the truth.
Unfortunately, writing about the world's best on a week-to-week basis hasn't transferred to my own game, which could be described as underwhelming if being kind or something harsher for those being more honest!
A 36-handicap shows the level we're working at, with the occasional moment where it feels like progress is being made quickly followed by more searching for lost balls and stray shots.
Not being able to hit it far off the tee, a terrible short game and streaky putting isn't the winning formula around any course, let alone Royal Troon - one of the hardest on the Open Championship roster and offering challenges almost everywhere you turn.
I'll get a few more 'excuses' in before you hear more about the round - a 6.50am tee time with no warm-up, using hired clubs and with minimal sleep after a long week wasn't the greatest preparation, although nerves would've been in play regardless at the opening tee.
A couple of unconventional practice swings certainly made the starter on the first tee concerned about whether I'd even connect with the ball, but thankfully the opening shot of the morning was in the air - just - and made the left side of the fairway.
Two chunky iron shots and an unconvincing pitch from just short of the green left me around 30 feet from the flag, with a two-putt for double-bogey a shot better than Justin Thomas had managed on the first during his final round the previous day.
Reminding myself of just how much some of the world's best had struggled around Royal Troon this week gave me some reassurance when things weren't going to plan, starting with a topped tee shot at the next that buried into the thick grass ahead.
One thing TV doesn't do justice is how tricky it is just to find your ball in the rough around the iconic links, with balls being lost at an alarming rate across the front nine. Big numbers were being racked up quickly and any hopes or dreams of breaking 100 were long gone very quickly.
It's not very often my game can be likened to Rory McIlroy, although a 'snowman' on the par-five fourth - just like he did in round two on his way to a missed cut - was about as far as the comparisons got.
The par-three fifth offered the good and the ugly, with one of the shots of the day from the rough onto the green followed by a three-putt, while the monster par-five next was a slog for someone who hits it about as far off the tee as the world's best would with a short iron.
All the fairway bunkers at the par-four seventh were somehow avoided, although at that point thoughts were already looking towards the next hole - the iconic 'Postage Stamp' - and what damage was going to be done.
It's only when you stand on that tee box that you truly appreciate just how small that green is and all the challenges around it. It was intimating enough with light winds and empty grandstands, so I dread to think what it was like during tournament play.
The tee shot went about as well as it could have done for a ball not on the green, missing the Coffin bunker, the sand the other side of the putting surface and clearing the thick rough that Romain Langasque found before quickly withdrawing earlier in the week.
A decent chip gave a strong chance of an unlikely par on one of the most iconic par-threes in golf, although in the end it was a nervy putt for bogey after knocking the initial downhill attempt several feet past.
Bogey on the Postage Stamp?! The hole that major champions racked up doubles and triples during the tournament? Where Joaquin Niemann made an eight in the second round? As you can imagine, the delight on my face was clear for all to see.
The reality check quickly came at the next hole, where tee shot barely went 100 yards and was lost in the grass, while the fairway was not even reachable off the 10th tee for someone with my underwhelming driving.
Avoiding the railway track was the only positive on the 11th, dubbed one of the hardest par-fours in major golf, as I hacked my way to a quadruple-bogey, while a good start at the 12th was quickly undone when a wayward iron shot ended up buried in a gorse bush.
Another high number at the 13th got me questioning why I even bother trying to play this sport, although the positivity returned when I found the greenside bunker off the 14th tee and made bogey after almost getting up and down.
A respectable score gave some belief heading into the closing stretch, with my longest drive of the day coming at the par-four 15th followed by a competent hybrid off the deck that left me around 50 yards short of the flag.
An ambitious plan to bump and run it onto the green worked almost perfectly, so much so that the ball was tracking towards the hole before agonizingly lipping out. My playing partners looked on in disbelief as I tapped in for my first par of the day.
The good vibes continued with a respectable bogey at the par-five 16th, despite going left off the tee in the direction of the hospitality stands, but I let my frustrations get the better of me at the par-three 17th.
Having sent my tee shot into a deep, deep bunker, the next couple of minutes produced a series of shots that would have gone viral on social media and made any kind of sporting bloopers reel.
After narrowly failing to clear the lip with the first attempt and then hammering the next straight into the face of the sand, multiple efforts to get onto the green proved unsuccessful and left both me raging and one of my playing partners in tears of laughter.
"A good putt for the 11," should never be an assessment of a hole, but that was the reality after eventually thinning onto the back of the green at the eighth attempt and two-putting from distance. Patience and some actual ability would have been handy at that point.
The walk up the 18th was special after another decent tee shot, despite the chaos beforehand, with a closing bogey a pleasing way to end a round that had seen some glimpses of good but plenty of shockers!
Golf is hard. Royal Troon is hard. It may have been at least 50 shots worse than what Xander Schauffele posted on the final day of his latest major success, but the Scottish venue is one of the gems of our sport and a true privilege to play.
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